Okay, so I know I'm going against every written rule for girls, but I'm just gonna say it. I'm gonna take a deep breath and blare out as loud as I can. Ready? Hey! You down in front, I'd plug my ears, buddy.
IIIIIIIIIIIII HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTE SHOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEES!!!!
Ah, I feel so much better now. (And I'm laughing at the guy down in front who didn't plug his ears.) No, I'm just kidding. But, the part about my detestation of shoes is totally true and from the heart. Actually, it's more like it's from the inner black recesses of my psyche. Side note, and this is something I just thought of. I bet my inner psyche in multi-colored. I bet it has greens and pinks and blues all over it like someone hung up paint filled balloons and threw darts at them. You know, like they do for those paintings?
But, back to the shoes. I have had this struggle for much of my life. Shoes are just against me. I'm sure of it. Because of my picky tastes, it's a bit difficult to find a shoe that I really like the look of. However, when pressed (which I usually am) I will put aside my appearance preferences and just try and find a shoe that fits properly. Alas, I have no luck in this quadrant either. I don't know what it is! It's either the shoe is a little too loose or a little too small. This of course means that either going up or down a size will not work. Then, one if not both of the shoes seems to cut into the top of my feet. The next pair I try on digs its back teeth into my poor little heel.
I once thought of how nice it would be to not wear shoes at all. To simply go through life barefoot, appealed stronly to me. But then, my germophobic part of me reacted strongly. There was no way I would walk into a public bathroom without shoes on........Ew. So, that alternative was shot down. And then, I had it!!!
Praise be! The solution was before me. (Did you notice how that rhymed?) :D All I needed was Hobbit feet. This is the line from The Hobbit- "They wear no shoes because they're feet grow natural leathery souls and thick brown hair like the stuff on their heads which is curly." My dilema was solved. Of course, I would have to worry about all the stares I would get if I walked into Wal-Mart with "wooly toes." But, perhaps that's a small price to pay if I don't ever need to look for shoes again.
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4 comments:
Shallowly speaking, shoes make everything better. I think you should reconsider your dislike of them. Tall pumps with a cute dress, especially make one have a happy feeling inside. Just sayin', think about it.
I will concede that many people enjoy shoes. However, I think my feet are starting a rebellion. They are determined to make uncomfortable almost everything I put on them. However, I will think about what you said. :)
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